Null and Void….
Taking marital vows or making mental promises subconsciously to stay in relationships through thick or thin…till death do us part…do not apply nor should they in abusive situations.
They become Null and Void.
Most of us find it difficult to abandon relationships…easily…due to guilt, innate values(faulty as fuck as they may be) the kids, finances, longevity of the relationship, he’s my dad, she’s my mom, I gave birth to them, it’s my fault, he tried to run me over with his car…ONLY once, she was nice to me on Tuesday…3 weeks ago, life circumstances etc.
WHATEVER is your cognitive jam!
And there will be MANY!
These are the things we think and say to ourselves that make us ‘stuck’ in uncomfortable relationships.
Our preconceived notions…
Emotional manipulators sense this and target these vulnerabilities in you to create a cognitive dissonance in your brain.
Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term referring to the mental discomfort experienced when individuals hold conflicting thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors…that may not necessarily be true.
We grow up romanticizing love story movies…
Till death do us part…
In thick or thin…
Blood is thicker than water…
Acting in good faith…etc
In your present circumstances, these kind of thoughts create a cognitive dissonance in our minds…because what we are experiencing does not match our notions.
What happens behind closed doors is not what is happening in public…THAT…creates a lot more cognitive dissonance.
Emotional manipulators thrive on your preconceived notions…they thrive on your cognitive dissonance…and if you don’t already come with them…an emotional manipulator will create them in you by constant repetitive bad behaviors to confuse you and your thought process.
Let someone not ‘tell’ you who they are…but let’s them show you who they are…and then take it seriously.
Always remember…emotional manipulators actions do not match their words…and actions speak louder than words.
Sometimes we may romanticize our stories as a profound love story when in actuality it is a profound tragedy that we have falsely formulated in our minds as a story of deep personal relentless persistent and resilient ‘love’ to make it acceptable.
These kind of martyrdom tragedies may not only apply to intimate relationships but also in familial and platonic settings…where you stay and ‘tolerate’ loads of crap despite the prolonged discomfort because of the preconceived notion that is already set in your mind.
Here is a wake the fuck up moment!
When you realize YOU seem to be the ONLY one upholding the vows or the unwritten blind devotion to people because of your own sense of loyalty or shared DNA…and has NOTHING to do with the participation or reciprocation or lack thereof of the other person or persons involved.
Being loved in return does not automatically happen just because you are a loving person.
Once you recognize THAT fact you will know who deserves your love and attention.
When you become aware of your misplaced blind loyalty ALL these relationships becomes Null and Void…and redundant.
Sometimes the experience with ONE person will hand you your get outta hell ticket…because they will show you exactly what hell really looks like.
THAT my friend…is a Bravo moment for YOU!
